Late Night Thinking

I guess this is another sleepless night.  I guess I got too much on my mind, so here I am listening to Fall Out Boy trying to clear everything up.  I really haven’t been able to sleep much at all lately and I usually end up not passing out til like 4 or 5 in the morning and sleeping in most of the day, big waste of daylight especially since the sunsets at 5:30.

Looking back on other blogs and stuff, I really haven’t written anything down in about 2 years.  It’s amazing how you can go back and see all the emotions and your train of thought at that time.  I guess thats another good reason for spilling all this out, so that in the future I’d be able remember these things.

So college.  I love it, possibly the best thing in my life right now.  This is my 3rd year and I’m pretty sure I’m on the 5 year plan so I gotta make sure I’m using my time as best I can.  I’ve learned a lot of things the past 2 1/2 years at UT, I’ve made some great friends, I’ve made some not so great friends, and I’ve made a shit ton of drinking buddies.  It just sucks that a lot of my good friends always end up leaving.  It’s amazing how no matter where you go, there are still the same types of people around.  Sad but what can you do but to make the best of it?  But I can definitely say that when I come back to Bedford sometimes it feels like I left home.  Classes are definitely more fun now that I’m not doing Pharmacy.  I actually enjoy going to my classes now and learning there but I still find it hard to get motivation sometimes.  It’s a big problem I know, but it gets to me how I can’t find myself to do the best that I can.

Things back at home are well different, but the same too in a way.  I still hang out with mainly the same people I did while I was in high school, it’s just weird now that all of them are in college now too and alcohol seems to play a bigger part in everyday life.  It’s weird how college affects everyone differently.  Not that it is a bad thing but there are things that well I’d never expect.

Girls, girls, girls, girls.  I don’t even know what to say.  Looking back on some of the things I’ve posted in the past, I realized that I really put a huge barrier up on myself and taking girls seriously.  I’ve been on a bunch of dates but I always end up disappointed for one reason or another mainly because most girls are hoes.  But it never really bothers me because it’s rare for me to actually find someone I want to be around and keep around these days.  I think I surprised myself this time, I got this girl that’s always on my mind and I think I’m crushing, but I’m sure yet as I never get to see her!  Somehow things always manage to pop up and blow our plans to hell..  But shit happens, and as long as I get to see her before break ends I’ll be happy.

No lie that felt kinda weak, I guess this was forced as an effort to get me to sleep.

If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she wont be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy.

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